we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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