): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
