well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
