So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
