My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
