how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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