so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
she pinky promised me she was 18
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
