Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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