Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I CAN MOONWALK!
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
