...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
