pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
