Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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