Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
