Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
