He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
