and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Randomize
