porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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