dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
