I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
