my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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