I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
