Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
now i know why i became what i already was.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
