I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I pour the whiskey from now on
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
