I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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