haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize