my vag is so smooth its legendary
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
