Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
