Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
