Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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