What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
