1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
My Sexting was not on an AP level
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
