Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
