just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
North Korea, Best Korea!
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
