i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
