how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
