hell yes lets make some ravioli
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
