I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
