..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
