I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
