just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
