Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
