she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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