Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Randomize
