ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
