so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
So squirting runs in the family.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
