I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
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