He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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