u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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