How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
