I CAN MOONWALK!
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
