You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
