I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
