my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize