elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize
