the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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