Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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