We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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