Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
